Why did I write my Pearl of Great Price?
This passage is taken from the sequel to my Pearl, In Christ, I am a New Creation. I hope to finish and begin the process of publishing my second book this year.
Since all illness has a spiritual component to it, I understood that I was in yet another deep cycle of spiritual purification as well. For the first time I consciously started praying and asking for illumination about my spiritual illness. “Can you open my heart and mind and illumine the eyes of my soul dear Lord? What are You attempting to reveal to me this time through my illness? How and from what is my spirit suffering?” I was not clear how God would answer my prayer. I put my hope in God’s mercy and waited. Soon after I felt compelled to start writing about my conversion in earnest.
I was quite hopeful. Though I had repented for my past New Age and occult activities, I felt I had to counter my past with a book that would lead modern seekers to Christ and the Orthodox Church. Writing about my life prior to becoming Orthodox was challenging and at times cathartic. Part of me did not want to return to who I was back then. I was ashamed and judgmental of my past actions and activities. I lacked structure and writing skills, but I forged my way onward despite my inadequacies.
“Shed light on my past actions and help me to heal from my bodily and spiritual illnesses dear Lord. ‘Have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy…’ Newly reveal to me my unconscious state of sin as I write. Open my heart to examine my past once more. Once again purify my soul, ‘Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.’ Illumine the eyes of my understanding as I write, ‘For behold Thou hast loved Truth, the hidden and sacred things of Thy wisdom hast Thou made manifest to me.’ My hope rests in You, O Lord.” “Thou shalt make me to hear joy and gladness, the bones that be humbled they shall rejoice.” (All the Scripture passages in this paragraph are from Psalm 50.)
What a blessing writing has been for me – in ways I never would have imagined. May God bless all our efforts to heal and find comfort in Him!In Christ,